Aric’s Story and Message
Aric’s Story: From “Fired Up” to “Fired Up to SHOW UP”
For years, I was known as the “Fired Up Speaker.” I even wrote the book Fired Up Success! But behind the scenes, I noticed patterns I couldn’t keep ignoring — quick triggers, inconsistency in my relationships, burnout, and an internal pressure to “push through” instead of slow down and understand myself.
Everything changed when I was introduced to attachment science. I began to see clearly how my early childhood experiences shaped the way I showed up under stress, how I handled conflict, and how I related to the people around me. For the past decade, I’ve immersed myself in attachment research and began doing the hard work to earn my own security.
The transformation changed everything — my life, my leadership, and the impact I had on educators, students, corporate teams, and organizations. I realized that many people try to motivate themselves through willpower alone, when what they actually need is security — to feel safe, seen, soothed, and supported.
As I continued sharing my message across the country, I kept seeing the same pattern: people show up at their best when they understand themselves and each other, and feel connected to the people around them. That insight deepened my commitment to studying attachment science — the field that explains why we respond the way we do, how we build stronger relationships, and what helps us thrive at school, at work, and in life.
Today, attachment science is at the heart of my FIRED UP to SHOW UP message and every leadership, educator, and student program I deliver. My mission is simple: teach the science of relationships in plain language and give people practical tools to show up as their authentic, secure selves — so they can create healthier, more connected schools, workplaces, and homes.
I now work in partnership with the John Bowlby Centre in the U.K., continuing to integrate the latest attachment research into my keynotes, trainings, and year-round leadership programs.
Sincerely,
Aric
Aric’s Message
What is Attachment Science?
Attachment is the field of psychology that studies how humans form and sustain close relationships across the lifecourse. It is among the most influential theories in psychology.
John Bowlby introduced attachment theory in the 1950’s, showing that our earliest relationships shape how we deal with stress, trust, and connection.
Mary Ainsworth expanded the research and demonstrated how different interaction patterns create different attachment styles.
What it Means in Real Life
All mammals (and some birds) have an “attachment system." When we feel stressed, in danger, or in need, our attachment system is activated and we begin looking for a person who feels safe and reliable. With that person (a teacher, leader, colleague, or parent), our nervous system settles, we think more clearly, and we can bring our best.
If we are unable to find someone that is safe and reliable and don’t have the tools to regulate our system, then our attachment system doesn’t deactivate and we can find it difficult to learn, do our work, or have harmonious relationships.
Why we show up the way we do
Attachment science teaches us that we all develop patterns—called attachment styles—that shape how we connect, communicate, and respond to stress.
Some people overthink, some pull away, some are more anxious, and some stay steady and open. These patterns aren’t “good” or “bad”—they’re simply learned strategies for feeling safe.
The powerful part? They can be understood and changed through secure attachment.
What helps us become secure?
Children and adults become SECURE when they experience the 4 S’s:
Safe, Seen, Soothed, and Secure.
When these needs are met, we regulate better, connect better, and show up as healthier, more grounded versions of ourselves—at school, at work, and at home.
Why It Matters at School and at Work
When adults are secure, communities thrive.
Secure leaders, educators, and parents become both a secure base (to explore, try, and create) and a safe haven (to return to and regulate).
Results you can feel:
- Calmer rooms and faster recovery after stress
- More honesty and initiative (psychological safety)
- Better collaboration and follow-through
- Students and employees show up with energy, connection, and purpose
- Less turnover and more retention
Attachment-informed Leadership (Aric’s Approach)
Attachment-informed leadership is the practice of building secure, reliable relationships at work and in schools so people have the energy and courage to show up. Decades of research show that when people feel safe, seen, and supported, they collaborate more, take smart risks, and sustain effort—exactly what great teams need.
Attachment-Informed Leadership is leadership that starts with security—in ourselves and in our relationships. It’s not therapy; it’s practical skills anyone can learn.
Who can benefit from this training?
- Schools: School Leaders, Educators, Campus Staff, Students and Parents
- Businesses: C-Suite Leaders, Managers, Directors, Human Resource Leaders, and Employees
Want to go deeper?
Presentation Resources: View Aric’s recommended books, articles, and videos that he cites in his presenatations
Secure Attachment Practices
Be Approachable
Delight in Their Presence
Be Approachable
Mind your face, voice, and body. Warm tone, open posture.
Be Attuned
Delight in Their Presence
Be Approachable
Notice needs and stress levels; meet people where they are.
Delight in Their Presence
Delight in Their Presence
Delight in Their Presence
Let people feel you’re glad they’re here—Make Me Feel Important (MMFI)
Show Genuine Interest
Delight in Their Presence
Delight in Their Presence
Learn names, stories, and goals. Follow up on what you hear.
Be Visible
Look for the Good
Schedule Time
Be available and in proximity. Greet at the door. Walk the room. Make contact early.
Schedule Time
Look for the Good
Schedule Time
Create space for connection—1:1s, quick huddles, classroom/community circles.
Be Present
Look for the Good
Look for the Good
Put the phone down, look up, listen fully. Be where your feet are.
Look for the Good
Look for the Good
Look for the Good
Recognize effort and progress out loud. Catch people doing it right.
Repair the Rupture
Repair the Rupture
Repair the Rupture
Recognize, acknowledge and repair any hurts or misunderstandings. Repair makes the bond stronger.